Earliest Memories Redux
Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2020 7:03 pm
Haven't posted in a while. I miss the days I could suck my dick with ease, but I recently had a walk down memory lane that got me hot and horny.
I was helping my parents clean out the attic and we found a box of old pictures from when I was in elementary and high school. I was a cute and innocent looking kid, but finding those pictures made me think about when I first started sucking my own dick and first tasted my cum.
I was honestly very young when I started masturbating and from as early as I started Ive been sucking myself. I mean earlier than most guys, definitely by the time I was 10. Like most guys I was obsessed with my dick especially once I started masturbating, but I dont remember when I first tasted my dick. I was always agile and could put my feet behind my head. I guess I realized how close my face was to my crotch and reached down one day and licked my head. While I love to masturbate from the first time I made mouth to dick contact that aspect of my sexual identity has been complete different than just masturbating. Nearly 30 years later I enjoy sex with other guys but Ive also realized that for me sex is selfsuck. Licking my head is amazing, and wrapping my lips around my head is enough, but the times when I get my lips around my shaft, about an inch below my head, and can actually suck my dick hands free is the most important sexual experience to me. Unfortunately Ive never sucked my own dick with a partner or even told a partner.
Anyway I was looking at these pictures of when I was in middle school and it just hit me. That boy in those pictures was regularly fucking his face with his dick and Ive never had a huge dick (Im just average) it is still a hard man-sized cock. I was probably in fifth grade when I first deep-throated my dick and got my lips around the base. Once I got that far it was actually easy to hold it though I couldnt move much up and down or give myself a blowjob. Ive gagged on my dick a lot and cum with most of my length in my mouth but deepthroating required me to hold the position and just suckle the hard length.
Also as much as I was a cute kid I was also teased and picked on a lot and struggled with my self-esteem. That is probably why sucking my own dick started to become so much more for me. Just the feeling of having my dick in my mouth was so beautiful that I felt like I was beautiful. I was in college before I saw my first pictures online of other men sucking their own dicks and then watched videos. I am still determined to make and post videos so I can be seen like that. When I start to climax, the thrusting and sucking and taste are so amazing that I just want to be seen that way. Of course as soon as I cum I used to be filled with intense shame at how disgusting I was.
Later I started sucking my dick in my car in public places. I would suck my dick and swallow my load and purposely not brush my teeth before going out or cleaning off the spit so I could taste myself while I was around other people and feel the spittle on myself. I started to realize that its other people who think it is disgusting but to me it is so much more than that. But knowing how few people would understand what it means to me and feels like has made me too embarrassed to share it with anyone else except here under a fake name. I wish I could get over that hang up and post unfiltered pictures and video. The chances of anyone I know ever seeing them would be small, but I still cant overcome my fear.
I dont understand why something so intimate and personal is also something I want to share and want affirmation for.
Seeing those old pictures reminded me of how long Ive been sucking my own dick and how many times Ive eaten my cum and other than some posts on this website its always been my secret that Ive never shown to anyone or shared with anyone.
I was helping my parents clean out the attic and we found a box of old pictures from when I was in elementary and high school. I was a cute and innocent looking kid, but finding those pictures made me think about when I first started sucking my own dick and first tasted my cum.
I was honestly very young when I started masturbating and from as early as I started Ive been sucking myself. I mean earlier than most guys, definitely by the time I was 10. Like most guys I was obsessed with my dick especially once I started masturbating, but I dont remember when I first tasted my dick. I was always agile and could put my feet behind my head. I guess I realized how close my face was to my crotch and reached down one day and licked my head. While I love to masturbate from the first time I made mouth to dick contact that aspect of my sexual identity has been complete different than just masturbating. Nearly 30 years later I enjoy sex with other guys but Ive also realized that for me sex is selfsuck. Licking my head is amazing, and wrapping my lips around my head is enough, but the times when I get my lips around my shaft, about an inch below my head, and can actually suck my dick hands free is the most important sexual experience to me. Unfortunately Ive never sucked my own dick with a partner or even told a partner.
Anyway I was looking at these pictures of when I was in middle school and it just hit me. That boy in those pictures was regularly fucking his face with his dick and Ive never had a huge dick (Im just average) it is still a hard man-sized cock. I was probably in fifth grade when I first deep-throated my dick and got my lips around the base. Once I got that far it was actually easy to hold it though I couldnt move much up and down or give myself a blowjob. Ive gagged on my dick a lot and cum with most of my length in my mouth but deepthroating required me to hold the position and just suckle the hard length.
Also as much as I was a cute kid I was also teased and picked on a lot and struggled with my self-esteem. That is probably why sucking my own dick started to become so much more for me. Just the feeling of having my dick in my mouth was so beautiful that I felt like I was beautiful. I was in college before I saw my first pictures online of other men sucking their own dicks and then watched videos. I am still determined to make and post videos so I can be seen like that. When I start to climax, the thrusting and sucking and taste are so amazing that I just want to be seen that way. Of course as soon as I cum I used to be filled with intense shame at how disgusting I was.
Later I started sucking my dick in my car in public places. I would suck my dick and swallow my load and purposely not brush my teeth before going out or cleaning off the spit so I could taste myself while I was around other people and feel the spittle on myself. I started to realize that its other people who think it is disgusting but to me it is so much more than that. But knowing how few people would understand what it means to me and feels like has made me too embarrassed to share it with anyone else except here under a fake name. I wish I could get over that hang up and post unfiltered pictures and video. The chances of anyone I know ever seeing them would be small, but I still cant overcome my fear.
I dont understand why something so intimate and personal is also something I want to share and want affirmation for.
Seeing those old pictures reminded me of how long Ive been sucking my own dick and how many times Ive eaten my cum and other than some posts on this website its always been my secret that Ive never shown to anyone or shared with anyone.