Is satisfaction possible?/Sexual Identity and Workshops?
Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2011 7:45 pm
Hey Everybody,
So I'm in my late 20s, bi, an autofellator, and in a wonderful straight relationship. I am also frustrated at my sexuality, and confused if satisfaction is even possible.
I started masturbating at 5 (which I think might be a huge root to the problem), repressed my sexuality for 2 decades because I wanted to be a priest and figured why bother exploring if you are going to take a vow of celibacy, but I ended up rejecting that path for several reasons. I had some hand/mouth fun with guys, but I tended toward unhealthy play environments. Additionally, always wanting a family meant I didn't really invest a lot of time exploring healthy male/male sexuality. Flip the coin, and I am pretty much where I want to be. I am in a really good straight relationship with a girl who I believe would absolutely freak out if I let on about my still brewing bisexuality.
So, to porn and my own mouth I go. I jack when I can, hate myself afterward, and life goes on without much of another worry. But, I don't think I am satisfied. It isn't that I want to have more sex with her, or to even go out and experiment with a him. However, when I have sex I feel like I should have something more. I have not had a great male male experience, and I hate myself for wanting to play around when I have a great g/f. When I masturbate, I can't help but worry about all the time I'm wasting. I feel like I am just spinning my wheels in regards to my sexuality.
There are a couple of workshops I've come across to help create a better awareness of male sexuality, such as body electric (http://www.bodyelectric.org/) and the garden of ian (http://www.thegardenofian.com/), and am curious. Has anybody tried this avenue, or feel similar?
-Ganymede Troy
So I'm in my late 20s, bi, an autofellator, and in a wonderful straight relationship. I am also frustrated at my sexuality, and confused if satisfaction is even possible.
I started masturbating at 5 (which I think might be a huge root to the problem), repressed my sexuality for 2 decades because I wanted to be a priest and figured why bother exploring if you are going to take a vow of celibacy, but I ended up rejecting that path for several reasons. I had some hand/mouth fun with guys, but I tended toward unhealthy play environments. Additionally, always wanting a family meant I didn't really invest a lot of time exploring healthy male/male sexuality. Flip the coin, and I am pretty much where I want to be. I am in a really good straight relationship with a girl who I believe would absolutely freak out if I let on about my still brewing bisexuality.
So, to porn and my own mouth I go. I jack when I can, hate myself afterward, and life goes on without much of another worry. But, I don't think I am satisfied. It isn't that I want to have more sex with her, or to even go out and experiment with a him. However, when I have sex I feel like I should have something more. I have not had a great male male experience, and I hate myself for wanting to play around when I have a great g/f. When I masturbate, I can't help but worry about all the time I'm wasting. I feel like I am just spinning my wheels in regards to my sexuality.
There are a couple of workshops I've come across to help create a better awareness of male sexuality, such as body electric (http://www.bodyelectric.org/) and the garden of ian (http://www.thegardenofian.com/), and am curious. Has anybody tried this avenue, or feel similar?
-Ganymede Troy