Seeking Support; my fight with bisexuality

Another requested forum: this is the place for us to discuss our non-self-suck, non-self-fuck but still sex-related issues and questions. Cock, balls, asshole and beyond; questions or thoughts about your body/mind and your erotic-life/sexuality are welcome.

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ganymedetroy
Posts: 98
Joined: Sat May 23, 2009 7:29 am
Location: Wisconsin

Seeking Support; my fight with bisexuality

Post by ganymedetroy »

Tonight was a prime example: She is sitting in the next room. We've had a very good day. It seems we could top it off with a good old romp, and I should be left to fall asleep in a pleasant post-coital coma...

..but I am not looking to get off. I'm not to interested in putting my penis in anything. What I want is to feel penetrated, practiced on. I want the thrust of a hip and threat of a gag to force my head as far back into the mattress as it can get. I want to feel hands rummaging for some slip, some texture of interest. I want to feel that warm, stiff sponge press against my night-chillled skin, slide past my lips, lunge into my abdomen.

Exploring is boring... I want to be explored.
Penetrating has happened...I want to be penetrated
I want an example of what it means to lust, to top, because I honestly wonder if I even know how!!!

And that is the part that gets me: that topping is not in my nature, but I'm a "man", and I should want to top. Not just because the world thinks that of me, but also because, well, isn't that why I was given a penis?

If I could come to terms with this, I might be able to move on to the next stage of wherever I'm headed. Right now, though: big bother. She knows I'm bi, but it is still a monogamous relationship that I want to stay in. It is the same challenge that faces every couple. I'm not looking to sneak out... I'm fighting to keep the trust.

-Ganymede Troy

sanjuro
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Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2005 11:20 am

Re: Seeking Support; my fight with bisexuality

Post by sanjuro »

I don't know if this'll help at all, but I can always suggest what my wife and I do.

There is one position that can be used to almost feel like your spouse is penetrating you even tho you are penetrating her.

She climbs on top to ride and penetrates, and then she lies down so all our legs can switch positions, so I spread my legs and hers are together. Then I lift up my bottom a little, and she can start pounding. It's like a reverse missionary. And when she pounds fast and hard it's hard to feel who's penetrating who and sometimes it almost feels like being penetrated.

My wife really likes this position. And my ex did. And I do. :)

Oh, and be careful about the testicles. ;)

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aleingang69
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Re: Seeking Support; my fight with bisexuality

Post by aleingang69 »

Hey GT,

Sounds like you're going through it, man - that's a tough situation. I've always felt bad for bi guys in monogamous relationships - it seems like you're always going to end up unsatisfied on some level.

You're obviously feeling this very deeply and write in a beautiful, poetic way about your desires.

Seems like 2 different/related issues - your desire for men and your feeling that you're basically a bottom. Have talked with your partner about the specifics? Would she be interested in fucking you with a strap-on? Would that satisfy you?

Don't get too caught up in stereotypes about what men are supposed to do and feel. Your cock is for pleasure and if that pleasure doesn't come from penetrating that doesn't make you any less a man. My personal experience with bi guys who are in relationships with women - which is extensive - is that the vast majority of them are mostly bottoms - what they really need from other men is that experience of receiving - of being penetrated, so you're not that unusual.

Bottom line (no pun intended) - if you want your relationship to last I'd say you need to - uh - open up ;) with your partner about what you're really feeling and see where the two of you can take it.

I hope that helps, buddy - we're rooting for you.

AL

PS to Sanjuro: I'm trying to visualise what you're talking about - it sounds great - but I can't picture it - is there a picture (from porn or whatever) that you can share?

sanjuro
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2005 11:20 am

Re: Seeking Support; my fight with bisexuality

Post by sanjuro »

Al, imagine an ordinary missionary position, but the roles are reversed. I have never seen it in any porn video. It's almost as I think I have invented it myself. :)

I lie down on my back with my legs spread, like the one being penetrated does normally in that position.

My wife is on top face to face with me, like I normally am during the missionary position. But her legs are together and my "stallion" is inside her.

She has to do all the work. I just lie there with my legs up and she pounds me really hard! It's like she's is penetrating me, but she's not! Feeling her hips bounce at my bottom is very sexy, IMHO.

If this description doesn't help I'll try to make a drawing of it! :)

ganymedetroy
Posts: 98
Joined: Sat May 23, 2009 7:29 am
Location: Wisconsin

Update

Post by ganymedetroy »

"...open up with your partner about what you're really feeling and see where the two of you can take it...."

So, the other day she was not entirely in the mood, and I had been super horny - for her - all day. She ends up in the living room watching TV, and I'm in the bedroom reading. After about 40 minutes of waffling, I decide that I should just relax, lay back, give myself a long, slow jack job, and not be disturbed if she walks in on me. We've been together quite a few years now, and although I'm sure she knows I've masturbated, she's never seen me do it. I was at a point where I thought I needed to take care of something, and I didn't need her help per se (though it would have been appreciated).

When she came to bed later, she kind of freaked out (...there go any hopes of showing off my ss talent). I had figured that if she did freak out, then at least we could discuss our respective libidos, and how they can be coped with. I seemed to do more mending of her hurt feelings, however; all of her previous boyfriends had lunged for her long before they ever retreated to their own pleasure (never mind that I had made several attempts throughout the day).

I brought up the potential dilemma's faced if we would get married: that over the next 50 years there would surely be moments where our libidos did not coincide; and asked how she thought we could deal with that? There was very little response. I know she is the type to need time to answer. The subject hasn't come up again since, however.

The problem with trolling porn sites is that every guy seems to have turned over to their sexual urges. Every blogger seems to cheat, break up, or manage an open relationship. If you've been in the same boat, I'd love to know what some tried options have been for you.

volatileangel
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Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Seeking Support; my fight with bisexuality

Post by volatileangel »

I hate to be the one to say this, but monogamy is overrated.

Partnerships are built on friendship and love for one another, but far too many become confused and think the new person they lust after is someone they love and can dedicate their entire lives to. It's actually extremely rare to find a person who genuinely meets all your expectations and similar feelings once that lust has faded and the relationship becomes more real.

You're not alone, millions of men around the world have the same problem. They get into a relationship thinking they're perfectly matched (the infatuation easily blinds) and then a couple of years pass and they realize how different they are from the person they are with.

Ultimately you have to make a choice yourself and no one can give you any more advice than that. Do you refuse your urges and spend the rest of your life in a relationship where you can't enjoy yourself sexually the way you want, or do you tell it like it is and deal with the consequences?

Consider for a moment that we are all here for a very short time. Is it really acceptable to waste any of that time conforming to someone else's opinions? However much you care for someone, is it really worth denying yourself the experiences that you feel will make you happy, simply because someone else doesn't approve?

I never understand people who stay in relationships that don't make them happy. It's such a waste of a life. We can't imagine spending a whole week just pleasing someone else and limiting ourselves, but so many people waste their entire lives conforming to what someone else wants. It makes absolutely no sense to me.

Loveducky
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Re: Seeking Support; my fight with bisexuality

Post by Loveducky »

Dude; your not bisexual, your human! All people have erogenous zones! Just be comfortable with what makes you feel good and be comfortable in making other people feel good. When you find somebody else that compliments your sex then awesome!!! Receiving sexual pleasure from penetration or anything else doesn't make you bisexual or gay. It makes comfortable with your own body and that will make you a much better sexual partner. Sex isn't about dominance for most people( although that can be fun) it's about mutual pleasure and orgasm!

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Ziggurat
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Re: Seeking Support; my fight with bisexuality

Post by Ziggurat »

I know this topic is pretty old GT, but I just figured I'd throw my two cents in. I live my life as a heterosexual monogamous male. But that's only in relation to my partner (wife). When it comes to my own time, which is usally every other day, I have all sorts of toys. They're not the best replacement, but they do in a pinch. I have more penis-based toys then orifaces. I love getting fucked. I miss it a lot. Toys satisfy the feeling of being penetrated, but not the encounter of getting fucked. But I don't wanna cheat either... So I know how ya feel.
Do it with pride or don't bother doing it!
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aleingang69
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Re: Seeking Support; my fight with bisexuality

Post by aleingang69 »

I'm only interested in men, but the 4 men who I have long term relationships with right now are all straight-identified. If I only fuck straight guys does that make me straight, too ;)

I've found that lots of men who are never going to fall in love with another man still have a (pun intended) deep-seated need to get fucked in the ass by another man. If that other man is me - all the better ;)

For some interesting perspectives on these issues:

http://straightguise.com/

bugnstein
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Re: Seeking Support; my fight with bisexuality

Post by bugnstein »

http://www.xnxx.com/video2387820/nacho_ ... g_him_good.
I think sanjuro is describing something like this position.

I have to say I feel the same sometimes. I'm a total bottom bisexually and enjoy being penetrated.

ganymedetroy
Posts: 98
Joined: Sat May 23, 2009 7:29 am
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Seeking Support; my fight with bisexuality

Post by ganymedetroy »

Thanks so much everyone for the continued conversation. The resources look great, and I'm thankful that I'm not the only one.

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