Earliest Memories Redux
Moderators: blacksunshineaz, Ziggurat
- PT1962Redux
- Posts: 47
- Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2020 10:35 pm
- Location: North America
Earliest Memories Redux
Haven't posted in a while. I miss the days I could suck my dick with ease, but I recently had a walk down memory lane that got me hot and horny.
I was helping my parents clean out the attic and we found a box of old pictures from when I was in elementary and high school. I was a cute and innocent looking kid, but finding those pictures made me think about when I first started sucking my own dick and first tasted my cum.
I was honestly very young when I started masturbating and from as early as I started Ive been sucking myself. I mean earlier than most guys, definitely by the time I was 10. Like most guys I was obsessed with my dick especially once I started masturbating, but I dont remember when I first tasted my dick. I was always agile and could put my feet behind my head. I guess I realized how close my face was to my crotch and reached down one day and licked my head. While I love to masturbate from the first time I made mouth to dick contact that aspect of my sexual identity has been complete different than just masturbating. Nearly 30 years later I enjoy sex with other guys but Ive also realized that for me sex is selfsuck. Licking my head is amazing, and wrapping my lips around my head is enough, but the times when I get my lips around my shaft, about an inch below my head, and can actually suck my dick hands free is the most important sexual experience to me. Unfortunately Ive never sucked my own dick with a partner or even told a partner.
Anyway I was looking at these pictures of when I was in middle school and it just hit me. That boy in those pictures was regularly fucking his face with his dick and Ive never had a huge dick (Im just average) it is still a hard man-sized cock. I was probably in fifth grade when I first deep-throated my dick and got my lips around the base. Once I got that far it was actually easy to hold it though I couldnt move much up and down or give myself a blowjob. Ive gagged on my dick a lot and cum with most of my length in my mouth but deepthroating required me to hold the position and just suckle the hard length.
Also as much as I was a cute kid I was also teased and picked on a lot and struggled with my self-esteem. That is probably why sucking my own dick started to become so much more for me. Just the feeling of having my dick in my mouth was so beautiful that I felt like I was beautiful. I was in college before I saw my first pictures online of other men sucking their own dicks and then watched videos. I am still determined to make and post videos so I can be seen like that. When I start to climax, the thrusting and sucking and taste are so amazing that I just want to be seen that way. Of course as soon as I cum I used to be filled with intense shame at how disgusting I was.
Later I started sucking my dick in my car in public places. I would suck my dick and swallow my load and purposely not brush my teeth before going out or cleaning off the spit so I could taste myself while I was around other people and feel the spittle on myself. I started to realize that its other people who think it is disgusting but to me it is so much more than that. But knowing how few people would understand what it means to me and feels like has made me too embarrassed to share it with anyone else except here under a fake name. I wish I could get over that hang up and post unfiltered pictures and video. The chances of anyone I know ever seeing them would be small, but I still cant overcome my fear.
I dont understand why something so intimate and personal is also something I want to share and want affirmation for.
Seeing those old pictures reminded me of how long Ive been sucking my own dick and how many times Ive eaten my cum and other than some posts on this website its always been my secret that Ive never shown to anyone or shared with anyone.
I was helping my parents clean out the attic and we found a box of old pictures from when I was in elementary and high school. I was a cute and innocent looking kid, but finding those pictures made me think about when I first started sucking my own dick and first tasted my cum.
I was honestly very young when I started masturbating and from as early as I started Ive been sucking myself. I mean earlier than most guys, definitely by the time I was 10. Like most guys I was obsessed with my dick especially once I started masturbating, but I dont remember when I first tasted my dick. I was always agile and could put my feet behind my head. I guess I realized how close my face was to my crotch and reached down one day and licked my head. While I love to masturbate from the first time I made mouth to dick contact that aspect of my sexual identity has been complete different than just masturbating. Nearly 30 years later I enjoy sex with other guys but Ive also realized that for me sex is selfsuck. Licking my head is amazing, and wrapping my lips around my head is enough, but the times when I get my lips around my shaft, about an inch below my head, and can actually suck my dick hands free is the most important sexual experience to me. Unfortunately Ive never sucked my own dick with a partner or even told a partner.
Anyway I was looking at these pictures of when I was in middle school and it just hit me. That boy in those pictures was regularly fucking his face with his dick and Ive never had a huge dick (Im just average) it is still a hard man-sized cock. I was probably in fifth grade when I first deep-throated my dick and got my lips around the base. Once I got that far it was actually easy to hold it though I couldnt move much up and down or give myself a blowjob. Ive gagged on my dick a lot and cum with most of my length in my mouth but deepthroating required me to hold the position and just suckle the hard length.
Also as much as I was a cute kid I was also teased and picked on a lot and struggled with my self-esteem. That is probably why sucking my own dick started to become so much more for me. Just the feeling of having my dick in my mouth was so beautiful that I felt like I was beautiful. I was in college before I saw my first pictures online of other men sucking their own dicks and then watched videos. I am still determined to make and post videos so I can be seen like that. When I start to climax, the thrusting and sucking and taste are so amazing that I just want to be seen that way. Of course as soon as I cum I used to be filled with intense shame at how disgusting I was.
Later I started sucking my dick in my car in public places. I would suck my dick and swallow my load and purposely not brush my teeth before going out or cleaning off the spit so I could taste myself while I was around other people and feel the spittle on myself. I started to realize that its other people who think it is disgusting but to me it is so much more than that. But knowing how few people would understand what it means to me and feels like has made me too embarrassed to share it with anyone else except here under a fake name. I wish I could get over that hang up and post unfiltered pictures and video. The chances of anyone I know ever seeing them would be small, but I still cant overcome my fear.
I dont understand why something so intimate and personal is also something I want to share and want affirmation for.
Seeing those old pictures reminded me of how long Ive been sucking my own dick and how many times Ive eaten my cum and other than some posts on this website its always been my secret that Ive never shown to anyone or shared with anyone.
- blacksunshineaz
- Posts: 943
- Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2005 9:14 pm
- Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Re: Earliest Memories Redux
A lot of us first got the idea to selfsuck when young boys. I was 13 when I first tried but I could only lick the tip with great strain. I got fed up and stopped trying until I was in college and saw photos of other guys doing it. Had I known others could do this I may not have given up. I can't imagine how my life had been different had I been able to actually suck it at that age. I have to admit I'm jealous of those who had success with this when younger.
- aleingang69
- Posts: 2345
- Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:53 pm
Re: Earliest Memories Redux
Thanks buddy - we appreciate your openness - if you can't talk about it here, you can't talk about it anywhere, right? I want to encourage you to look at the pictures you have and think about ways to cover up the identifying bits enough that you'll feel comfortable. It sounds like you really want to share them with us, and we'd love to see them!
Al
Al
- PT1962Redux
- Posts: 47
- Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2020 10:35 pm
- Location: North America
Re: Earliest Memories Redux
The reason I havent posted pics or vids is not modesty. I just cant do it easily these days. For five or so years, I haven't been able to achieve the flexibility in my back to suck my dick. Mostly I can just lick the head.
I enjoy at least being able to write about sucking my own dick and I really appreciate your response. Its very encouraging. I keep trying to work on my flexibility but its just not been easy to get back to how I was when I was younger. As soon as I can do it, I will and I'll make a video and post it.
I enjoy at least being able to write about sucking my own dick and I really appreciate your response. Its very encouraging. I keep trying to work on my flexibility but its just not been easy to get back to how I was when I was younger. As soon as I can do it, I will and I'll make a video and post it.
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- Posts: 6
- Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2021 5:34 pm
Re: Earliest Memories Redux
I remember being around 8 or 9 don't know where I came up with the idea but I started trying flipped up side down I could get close but never touch it... then around 11 I started jacking off alot never could cum I was 12 I would get the sensation of and orgasm but nothing came out any way I tried again and could get the tip in my mouth... there where some kids my age that we would watch porn and Jack off I showed them I could suck my self and thats when I knew and realized not many could do this... that went on for about a year I loved them watching... I kept doin it over the years and of course got better at it I showed my wife she didn't like it so then 13 yes and a divorce later I showed the girl I was dating and she nearly cummed her self ... we broke up and the girl im dating now I sent a video of me self suckin and she to got all excited...needles to say she loves to watch me self suck .. self suckin is good
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- Posts: 6
- Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2021 5:34 pm
Re: Earliest Memories Redux
and I am against child porn ... but I was just sharing my story and it started when I was young