Disclaimer: Like any extreme sport,
auto-fellatio can be dangerous. If you end up hurting yourself
while doing it, or you lose your job or your social life because you've got your dick in your mouth 24 hours a day,
I cannot accept any responsibility. You're a grown man. You
do want you want to do, and you accept responsibility for your
Al Eingang's self-suck how-to.
- Basic concepts
- Popular positions illustrated
- About the positions
Be born flexible. I don't
have any science to back this up, but it seems to me that some
of us are just born more flexible than is usual. I didn't have
to put any special effort into sucking my dick when I started;
I leaned over and stuck it it in my mouth, and it was good.
If this was something that any man could do, you wouldn't be
able to walk down the street without tripping over all of the
guys sucking themselves off.
Try it anyway! Even if you weren't born
with the flexi-spine there is no excuse for you not to at least
give it a try. The desire to suck our own cocks is the one thing
that ties men of all sexual orientations together: it is something
we can bond with our brothers about and, if we would all just
relax and let go of our inhibitions, it is a far healthier pursuit
than building weapons, staging hostile takeovers, or being a
politician. Do it because it's fun; do it because it helps you
to experience your body in new and interesting ways; and do
it because every man should taste cum at least once in his life.
Be careful! Sexual desire and sexual excitement
have a way of over-riding our physical sense of pain, and our
ability to think clearly. If you've only got a half inch to
go before you've finally got your cockhead in your mouth, and
you really want it, you can end up with some major back pain.
Slow down and tell yourself "OK, I'm feeling a little back
pain now, so I'm just going to back off and jack a nice big
load into my mouth."
Have a big cock. This isn't
because men with big dicks are more flexible, but because if
your cock is 8 inches long, you'll get to it 2 inches sooner
than a 6 incher would. If you are not naturally flexible then
you need patience while you learn to stretch safely. Men with
8 inches require 2 inches less patience than men with 6 inches.
Some men, like the late, great Scott O'Hara don't have to flexible
at all: if they bend over to tie a shoe while erect they end
up poking themselves in the eye.
Do yoga. I didn't need it to stay flexible
when I was younger, but I wish I had started at 18 rather than
at 38. I do Iyengar style yoga and highly recommend it, but
I imagine that any style would be helpful. It's best to take
classes with an experienced, certified teacher, but if you want
to try it on your own, get yourself a copy of Yoga The Iyengar
Way by Silva, Mira & Shyam Mehta, and don't get discouraged
because they write as though you should be able to do difficult
poses right away. If you want an easier intro, or if you've
ever had any back problems you should take a look at Back
Care Basics by Mary Pullig Schatz, M.D. which gives explicit
instructions for a more gradual, gentle introduction to the
basic yoga poses. Iyengar yoga encourages deep physical and
spiritual awareness that will help you in your quest to suck
hot loads of jizz from your throbbing mantool.
Out! The Western lifestyle (which most of the people who are
reading this live) is lacking in the kinds of diversified, vigorous
exercise that keeps a body healthy and strong. Sitting
in front of a computer all the time only makes it worse. I was
starting to have some lower-back problems, and even though I
was doing Yoga fairly regularly it kept getting worse. I went
to physical therapy and they gave me a gym routine to do and
what-do-you-know; my back is all better. If I was doing lots
of Yoga every day it might not be necessary, but I'm not and
the muscles that support my lower back just weren't strong enough.
Get a good, basic all-over training routine together, with free-weights
or machines, and pay extra attention to your mid-section. It
Check out the flexibility/contortion
links section on the links page.Most of these are not sexually
oriented, but they have lots of interesting information and
amazing photos. If you do some surfing you'll find sites that
give advice on increasing flexibility. There are also some self-suck
how-to sites in the auto-fellatio section of my links page. If you have access to the Usenet, there is at least one
Newsgroup devoted to sexual contortionism: alt.binaries.pictures.contortion.nude.
Buy my videos! Or at least look at the "pictures"
section of this website and see how the master (me) does it.
I'm sure there must be at least a few other men out there who
can auto-fellate as well as I do, but so far I'm the only one
who's putting it on video. You probably won't be as good at
it as I am, but any time you spend in the pursuit of sexual
pleasure is time well spent, right?
Footnote: The cardiologist who performed open-heart surgery on me
tells me that I probably have a form of something called
The Marfan Syndrome; a genetic disorder that often results
in big holes in the Mitral Valve (thus the heart surgery),
and... extreme flexibility! So in my case flexibility probably
is something I was born with. Was it worth having to have
If you are unusually flexible it's probably worth letting your doctor know; it could be a sign of an underlying genetic condition that might cause serious health problems at some point, or... maybe you're just really lucky.
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